[This post actually started out serious but then it sorta went off the rails...]

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I was going to post about all the various cooking-related toys out there for kids — pretend food, little kitchens, sno-cone makers — when I came across this: Hasbro’s Easy Bake Real Meal Oven.

In case you couldn’t figure it out by the BLUE spatula, BLUE trim, and BLUE packets of food, this is an Easy Bake Oven for boys.

But why, I found myself asking, do we really need a boy-specific cooking toy? Is there something wrong with the old Easy Bake Ovens? Then I read Amazon’s spotlight reviews of this product:

“My son (a mini chef in his own right) has wanted an Easy-Bake oven since he could talk – but buying a pink and purple oven was OUT.”

“Having fond memories of my sister’s Easy-Bake oven, I gave our son an Easy-Bake Real Meal Oven for his ninth birthday. I had considered giving him an Easy-Bake in the past, but was discouraged by the pink and purple colors of other models.”

Wow. Good thing I have a daughter, because I certainly did not know buying a regular Easy Bake Oven — even the one that just looks like a microwave oven — will turn your all-American boy into a butt-humpin’ homo faster than you can say “I’m a friend of Dorothy!”

But look closer! It’s not just blue. This oven bakes Real Meals! Manly meals! Sure, it comes with a couple sissy cupcake mixes too, but should you really risk it? Better toss those loafer-lightening packets out. Make the pizza! Or macaroni and cheese! Pretzels to eat with your beer! Check it out, it even cooks two foods at a time! If you want your boy to grow up right, you’ll teach him a big man is a real man! Skinny boys are nancy boys!

Then again, if your boy’s even asking for an Easy Bake Oven, you’ve probably got more problems on your hands than you know. You should probably get him those LEGO guys he’s been asking for. What could be manlier? It’s got a cowboy, a cop, an Indian chief, a construction worker, a soldier, and… what’s that last guy there? Some kind of biker? Well, that oughta straighten your boy out but good.

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8 Comments

  1. AHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHA!

    Lilly would LOVE those Lego people. What’s that make her??

  2. I WANTED a limp-wristed nancy boy but got a blood-thirsty Klingon!

    You’re telling me NOW that I could have gayed him up with a PINK or PURPLE Easy Bake Oven?!

    I wonder if it would take or is it too late to socialize him into a Joan Crawford-loving fudge-packer?

  3. I _just_ put an Easy-Bake Oven on my daughter’s Christmas wish list. Now I’m torn among taking it off and telling Hasbro exactly why, switching to this one, or making sure we ask for the girliest of girly ones.

    Ew.

  4. Oy! I hate stuff like that. I just emailed Hasbro.

  5. Pingback: gezellig-girl.com » Gift Idea: Easy Bake Real Meal Oven For Manly Old Dudes

  6. I just handed off my 12 year old sons Easy Bake Oven to a friend with a 7 yo girl. I was sad to see it go! So was my son, but- he knows how to use a REAL oven now, due to the fact that Mom lets him help in the kitchen, and that he has taken several cooking classes. Why suggest Lego’s as a boy toy? I’m confused about your post. On one hand, you’re saying pink is okay for boys and that we shouldn’t have gender specific toys, but on the other you’re saying if he’s asking for an oven it means he *might* be gay so buy Lego’s instead. Make up your mind! Which is it? The sexes ARE different, and I’m okay with gender specific toys as long as there is a masculine version available too. My sons have all played with dolls, ovens, play kitchens, you name it. They are well rounded and like girls very much. My husband didn’t like it, so I told him if they were going to be gay, they will be gay, doll or no doll, oven or no. Girls can cross the gender toy line, but we live in a soceity where it is much harder for boys to do so. As long as soceity is that frustrated, toy manufacturers should off masculine versions of all typical ‘girl’ toys.

  7. Uh, you get that those LEGOs are The Village People, right? The musical group? Consisting mostly of gay men? If I have to explain the joke more than that, maybe I should employ a visual aid.

  8. Haha! No, I didn’t get that. I’m just tired of arguing with my dear hubby about this. I have 3 sons, no girls, and they all were given boy AND girl toys, and so far the 12 and 15 year old are loving the ladies (gawd help me, lol). I’m still hoping the 3 yo *might* be gay so I can have a girlfriend to shop with, enjoy the theater with and so on….lol.

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