I was going to post about all the various cooking-related toys out there for kids — pretend food, little kitchens, sno-cone makers — when I came across this: Hasbro’s Easy Bake Real Meal Oven.
In case you couldn’t figure it out by the BLUE spatula, BLUE trim, and BLUE packets of food, this is an Easy Bake Oven for boys.
But why, I found myself asking, do we really need a boy-specific cooking toy? Is there something wrong with the old Easy Bake Ovens? Then I read Amazon’s spotlight reviews of this product:
“My son (a mini chef in his own right) has wanted an Easy-Bake oven since he could talk – but buying a pink and purple oven was OUT.”
“Having fond memories of my sister’s Easy-Bake oven, I gave our son an Easy-Bake Real Meal Oven for his ninth birthday. I had considered giving him an Easy-Bake in the past, but was discouraged by the pink and purple colors of other models.”
Wow. Good thing I have a daughter, because I certainly did not know buying a regular Easy Bake Oven — even the one that just looks like a microwave oven — will turn your all-American boy into a butt-humpin’ homo faster than you can say “I’m a friend of Dorothy!”
But look closer! It’s not just blue. This oven bakes Real Meals! Manly meals! Sure, it comes with a couple sissy cupcake mixes too, but should you really risk it? Better toss those loafer-lightening packets out. Make the pizza! Or macaroni and cheese! Pretzels to eat with your beer! Check it out, it even cooks two foods at a time! If you want your boy to grow up right, you’ll teach him a big man is a real man! Skinny boys are nancy boys!
Then again, if your boy’s even asking for an Easy Bake Oven, you’ve probably got more problems on your hands than you know. You should probably get him those LEGO guys he’s been asking for. What could be manlier? It’s got a cowboy, a cop, an Indian chief, a construction worker, a soldier, and… what’s that last guy there? Some kind of biker? Well, that oughta straighten your boy out but good.