Earlier this month, I ordered two dozen eggs. What I got was twenty eggs and four wee gooey messes. But hey, they’re eggs. It happens. I emailed them and they credited me the cost of the eggs.
This week, I ordered a half-gallon of lactose-free milk. What I got was lactose-free curds and whey. Had I not been putting chocolate syrup into the milk, and watching as I stirred it around, I probably would have just handed the cup to my kid and said, here you go, drink up. I cringe to think of what could have happened after that.
I don’t care how long you’ve been a parent and/or how many kids you have — cleaning spoiled milk kid-barf off your floor, your bed, or [shudder] yourself, is fucking disgusting.
You’re keeping a placid, soothing exterior to calm and tend to your kid, but on the inside you’re going, oh my sweet baby jesus in heaven this is so unbelievably freakin’ foul. how can one child vomit so much? how is it possible? oh god oh god oh god this is so gross. i’m going to need like, eight showers after this just to get the goddamned puke smell out of my nose.
Let me tell you, had I not noticed the milk had turned, and the inevitable kid-barf ensued, I’m pretty sure I would have cleaned up, packed up, and hopped on a train to LIC, so I could pop into the FreshDirect office, where I would surely punch someone in the neck.
You better watch it, FD. I’m small, but I am freakin’ scrappy.
The best is yet to come — Just wait until they start forgetting the meat items (we’re talking, ALL of the meat I ordered!). That’s happen to me several times!
Ugh, really? It was bad enough I needed to go out and just grab some milk; I can’t imagine needing to go out and pick up a week’s worth of meat I’d planned on eating.
I have been hearing more and more FD horror stories in the last couple months (though I still generally weep with jealousy that you have FreshDirect to complain about). Okay, minor horrors like deliveries at 1am and out-of-whack quantities for the one-click recipes, but enough that they must be hitting some growing pains.
ONE AM! This I need to see.
Stop by here on your way, and I’ll get your back… I’m still pissed at them for showing up 2 hours past the delivery window, not calling about it.
I should mention, I LIVE in Long Island City and their claim was that the driver was “lost.” If I can see your offensively bright sign out my living room window, I shouldn’t have to give you driving directions to my apartment!.
Okay, it was midnight. It’s from a private-ish Yahoo list so I have no link but here’s the story:
And then three days later someone else said, “I just thought I would post that it’s midnight, and my FreshDirect delivery scheduled for between 8-10 JUST arrived.”
Cripes.
Well, now I feel all smart for always picking the first delivery slot of the day.