Oh, the first hit is ALWAYS free, isn’t it?

This is only vaguely bordering on food and/or making it gezellig, but I am not a Starbucks drinker. Not because I’m any sort of anti-corporation, fuck-the-man-and-his-coffee type. Truth is, I’m cheap and I think their coffee is kinda bitter and nasty.

While my mother-in-law was in town, I took her to my favorite public bathroom: the Marriott in Times Square. (Seriously. The lobby is on the 8th floor and they have really cool glass elevators — entertainment AND a hygienic place to pee? You can’t offer me better than that.) In this Marriott, on the first and eighth floors, is a Starbucks. We went in, looking for a place to sit for a while, and while we were deciding, we were offered a free sample of their eggnog frappuccino — a word I hate, but I’m still not going to turn down free.

We drank it, and it was… delightful. So, we each stepped up and ordered an eggnog latte, which was even better than the frappawhatever was: creamy like eggnog, without being too phlegmy, and a nice nutmeg note to it.

At this point, my life turned into one of those old-style movie montages: me walking down the middle of the screen with green Starbucks logos, the inescapable red Starbucks ads, and empty coffee cups floating past, coupled with dramatic music and my voice eerily intoning tall eggnog latte, please… and a peppermint mocha… gingerbread… something… and maybe wrapping it up with a barista cackling evilly until he’s drowned out by the hiss of billowing steam.

In short, I got a monkey on my back and it goes by the name Seasonal Starbucks Coffee Drinks. Everyday, right around 3:30pm, I start thinking, hmm, a coffee would really do me good right now. I went to Target under the guise of buying cat food and evaporated milk, but really, the whole trip there, I was thinking, should I get coffee now? or after Target? I really want it now, but I really want to sit down and enjoy it, but I REALLY WANT IT NOW.

January cannot come soon enough.

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6 thoughts on “Oh, the first hit is ALWAYS free, isn’t it?

  1. I rarely enter Starbucks as well. But last year my friend introduced me to one of their cider concoctions. Oh my goodness was it good. Thank goodness they don’t serve this stuff year round.

  2. Nice to meet you! A virtual friend of mine linked me to your blog, and after reading this first post, I’m confident that we’re kindred spirits. I wrote about this very same thing here a week ago or so – http://jrizzo.vox.com/library/post/sipping-coffee.html

    I also got sucked into the Gingerbread Latte at Dunkin. It’s a good thing for my wallet, waistline, and conscience that these things are seasonal.

  3. [puts fingers in ears] LA LA LA LA LA LA LA! I am not listening to you! Stop saying “gingerbread latte at Dunkin Donuts” because there is a Double-D within sight of my front door, as opposed to having to actually go somewhere to get to a Starbucks! LA LA LOO LOO LOO!

    Seriously, though, I should start paying Mr. NYCinephile for each reader he sends my way. That guy rules! Hello!

  4. My boyfriend and I never tried Starbucks until the Chantico: a tiny shot of strong hot chocolate . We were crazy for them and had them all the time, until they were discontinued. So sad.

  5. Every once in a while Fate conspires to lead me into a Starbucks. There’s one right beneath the escalators for my workplace, and sometimes I don’t have time to run over to Caribou or Dunn Bros., but ZOMG I need coffee. They are a last resort.

    However, I have to admit that they put out some great stuff sometimes. I loved their Chantico, chocolate so sweet few mortals could tolerate it, and densely packed with more calories than atoms. And I’ve never had a decent mocha valencia anywhere else.

    Honestly, I don’t remember why I hate them, except I vaguely recall it was something political.

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