Save The Toast?

So, I got this email today via the contact form on my site:

Hi Kristen,

I thought you might be interested in checking out as
it could provide some fun foodie fodder for your blog. It’s really
lighthearted and I hope you find it to be as cute as I do. Please let me
know what you think!

All the Best,
[PR Person’s Name Redacted]


Let me begin with what I liked about this email: at least they got my name right. If it had been addressed to Kristin, I probably wouldn’t have even read it.

The other thing I liked: that the email closed with “Please let me know what you think!”

Therefore, I can feel I can continue by saying WHAT THE FUCK?

I’m not even going to touch the tortured alliteration (“fun foodie fodder”? for reals?) and forced breezy tone. I’ll just continue on to say, dude, don’t fuck with butter.

Don’t get me wrong; unlike a lot of food bloggers, I’ll totally eat crap food. And new crap food? I’m all over that. That new giant cheeseburger at McDonalds? I ate that! Several times! And it was pretty good!

But that’s a McDonalds burger, a food in which there’s really no place to go but up.

But butter? Jacques Pépin himself, when asked what his final meal would be, said “a good piece of bread and some good butter” — that’s how completely perfect a real, good butter is. It doesn’t need to be crapped up with canola oil to make it “spreadable.”

You want spreadable butter? Take it out of the fridge. Think ahead more than 2 minutes as to what you’re going to cram into your face and voilá — spreadable real butter!


All the best,

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8 thoughts on “Save The Toast?

  1. The joy of real butter is not to be trifled with.

    If I happen to forget to take it out ahead of time, I’m not at all above wrapping a slice of really good bread around a hunk of butter and eating it that way. Yeah…I’m that pathetic and that much in love with butter (as my cholesterol count shows!)

  2. A culinary motto to live by!

    And oh-so-right, as well…who would think butter would be better if you add canola oil to it?

    Oh, wait, some marketing team looking to boost sales. Gotta love the tone of that e-mail.

    But, seriously: I’ve always thought of butter as “spreadable” all by itself.

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