Because there will come a day, maybe a Wednesday, when you will be sitting on an M train, heading downtown. You may be thinking of other things or listening to an iPod or watching a schoolteacher try to herd 17 8-year-olds onto the train but then you will see it, lying on the subway car’s floor. A receipt.
From Meat Heaven.
You will pick it up, look at it, and think about this for a moment. Meat Heaven.
And the more you think about it, the more theological questions will arise.
Is this where all meat goes if it’s been good during its time on earth? Or only certain meat?
Isn’t this meat soon going to be seared by flames in some way?
And if that is Meat Hell, wouldn’t that make Meat Heaven more like… Meat Purgatory? Or would it be Meat Limbo?
Then your eye will wander down the length of the receipt to the bottom, and you will find yourself, as you rattle through a tunnel half a mile below ground, asking the most pressing question yet:
Who the fuck drops $67.30 on meat nowadays?!


1 August 2008 at 10:23 pm
Not only dropping $67 on meat, but paying in cash!
5 August 2008 at 2:19 pm
Methinks someone is trying to buy his way into heaven, albeit Meat Heaven.
15 August 2008 at 8:37 pm
Um…a couple on the Atkins or South Beach Diet who has a freezer and actually does all of their weekly shopping in one trip?
12 September 2009 at 5:01 am
My husband and I shop at the local butcher. We spend between $40 and $80 every two weeks on meat and a couple odds and ends we can only buy there. Spices, vegetables, fruits and brands big box stores don’t carry, usually. If you’re getting good cuts, it’s not difficult to drop $67.30 at a meat market.
27 April 2011 at 11:32 am
in my experience it’s usually a middle-aged white man who talks too loudly.
there’s a butcher i go to in [unnamed snooty nj suburb] where i have seen people drop that much and MORE on what amounts to way too little meat. most times, they fit the description above.