Cheese is the new wine: Hans’ All Natural Cheddar Horseradish

Yesterday, I was in the interminable line at the Columbus Circle Whole Foods, trying to mentally calculate just how much I was about to drop, when, placed in a tray of crushed ice next to line in an oh-don’t-mind-me-I’m-just-a-sad-little-sale-item-left-over-from-the-holidays manner, there it was. Cheese spread! And not just just cheese spread: ALL NATURAL CHEESE SPREAD. These are words I have been waiting to read for my entire life without ever realizing it.

As much I love all sorts of swanky, stinky imported cheeses, I also really love cheese spreads. The most unnatural, unswanky cheese of them all, usually on a par with Cheez Whiz and Velveeta, but oh, I love them.

I quickly grabbed a tub of the Cheddar Horseradish, hoping no one would recognize me and rescind my food blogger status on the spot. As soon as the rest of the groceries were put away, I headed for the cheese spread with a knife and a slice of sourdough Wasa.

“Well?” my husband asked as I took the first bite.

“Moh ma gof, itsh so fuffing goof,” I managed to say while still cramming more in.

It’s creamy and about as salty as most other cheese spreads, but with a better, sharper Cheddar taste. And the horseradish is perfect, enough to give it a nice bite without singeing your nosehairs out. Basically, if you’re okay with buying cheese spreads in the first place, this is probably one of the best ones ever.

Ingredients: WI Grade A cheddar cheese aged nine months or more (pasteurized milk, cheese culture, uniodized salt, enzyme), reduced lactose whey, water, cream, horseradish, annatto (color). No antibiotics, added hormones, preservatives, or nitrates/nitrites added. Sustainably farmed, humanely raised, and 100% vegetarian fed.
Country of origin: USA (Wisconsin)
Aged: Nine months (at least in part).
Price: $2.99 (on sale) for an 8 oz. container
Final verdict: No one needs to know if you buy it and eat it all.