I have seen the future. It’s not great.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Sushi Popper.

Let me begin by saying: I am not a snobby sushi jerk. I am no stranger to the lure of supermarket sushi. But this? Previously frozen sushi in what is essentially a Push Pop tube?

Maybe it was just these specific tubes (which were being handed out at Japan Day this past Sunday) that were disappointing. Despite instructions on their site saying the tubes need 1-2 hours at room temperature to defrost, the people manning the table were handing them out almost entirely still frozen and telling people give it a minute or two before eating it. After waiting in line for at least 30 minutes, waiting even longer to eat was not paramount.

The rice, mushy and salty, defrosted before what was rolled up in it, leaving me with chunks of frozen cucumber to contend with — which was probably for the best. I can’t imagine cucumber, being about 95% water, would defrost especially well. The frozen chunks of avocado and crab in the California rolls did not taste much better.

But more than that, even if this had been kind of good sushi, do we really need sushi on-the-go? Is the world really crying out for the junk-foodification of sushi? Hands-free sushi to be found “at local stores as well as school cafeterias, campuses, in drive-thru’s [sic], airports, on airplanes, beach resorts, and more”? Can we really not spare the ten minutes it takes to scarf sushi sitting at a table, chopsticks optional?

If this is your sushi revolution, I think I’ll stay home.

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3 thoughts on “I have seen the future. It’s not great.

  1. Are you SURE they were supposed to be frozen and not just refrigerated? Essentially, it’s just a California roll not cut into pieces; I can imagine that in a wrapper that you can peel back while you’re eating the roll from one end. But then, you’d miss the whole dipping-each-piece-into-soy-sauce-and-wasabi experience, which is part of sushi eating (unless you dipped the roll before each bite). But then, you’d be using another hand to carry the soy sauce, and that sort of defeats the purpose of “convenience sushi.”

    1. I don’t think they were supposed to be frozen, which is some poor planning on the part of the Sushi Popper (I have accidentally written “Sushi Pooper” at least 9 times now) people, seeing as it was a 90-degree day and they could have defrosted them in about 30 minutes. But even if they were not frozen, I just can’t imagine they would have gotten much better.

  2. The website says it can be stored up to a month in the freezer.

    Regardless, this gets a big ole ewwwwww from me.

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