Before setting it in the oven, I did not think to check the broiler for, say, a piece of foil I’d left in there the night before. Which, naturally, caught on fire. Smoke billowed out of the oven. The pizza dough I sweated over, now gray and speckled with ash, slid unceremoniously into the trash.

Since then, the notion of making pizza has consistently been met with one thought: fuck that noise.

I don’t know why I decided to make pizza dough again, but wow, I am so glad I did. This recipe from The Mediterranean Vegan Kitchen is so unbelievably simple — the dough came together in less than 10 minutes in the food processor. I topped it with Swiss chard, red onions, tomatoes and goat cheese, which was… okay. A little bland, honestly, but the crust was terrific. In the oven for about 15 minutes at 450 degrees, then a little olive oil brushed on the crust once it was done. Super easy! And good!

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So, when I saw this post on what to do with old bread, I thought, huh, that sounds pretty good, then filed it away for future reference, the same way I’ve done with a hundred other recipes in the past year and half.

And then last week, I found myself with a collapsed loaf from a recipe I’d tried. I think I added too much yeast. It was edible… but a bit flat and therefore useless for sandwiches or, really, anything. So, I was standing around in the kitchen, glaring at the failed loaf, when I realized I had eggs and milk… I even had some grated Gruyère and Swiss hanging around.

So, what the hell — it’s just gonna go to waste anyway, right?

Holy shit, this is possibly one of the best things I have made EVER.

I cubed the bread, and filled the pie pan with the cubes. (The rest went to the birds.) I used a ratio of one egg : 1/3 cup milk (4 eggs, 1 1/3 cups milk in all) until it looked completely soaked, like french toast. I threw in a couple handfuls of grated cheese and one bunch of chopped broccolini that was wasting away at the back of the fridge. I started it out at 375º but after 20 minutes it was browned nicely but still wet in the middle, so I lowered the temperature to around 300º and cooked for another 20 minutes.

Now, I do not like baked eggs. Quiche, frittata, shirred eggs… they all get a weird taste/texture I don’t like. But this was fluffy and tender and not all eggy. You can see from the photo that some of the cubes of bread crisped up and got all crunchy… I’m actually salivating just remembering it.

Will this be the start of a blog cooking spree? I kinda doubt it, but you never know.

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The original recipe had 3/4 cup raisins (optional), so I decided to take them up on it. I thought I had read raisins should be soaked first — and I was right. Raisins are popping off of this bread like buttons off Bruce Banner’s shirt.

Which, of course, means I’m going to make this bread yet again.

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I know that gap between the crust and the crumb of the bread is an indication of… something, (oven too hot? too long a rise?) but I can’t find my copy of Beard on Bread (a title that makes me giggle every single time) to find out what it is.

Still! This is the best loaf of bread I’ve made in ages. Sweet, soft, toasts like a freakin’ dream. I made this loaf about 12 hours ago and we’ve already eaten half of it.

Here’s the recipe, adapted ever-so-slightly from the one on the King Arthur Flour bag:

3-ish cups bread flour
1 cup oats (quick or old-fashioned oats; I used quick)
2 tablespoons butter, melted
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
3 tablespoons honey
2 teaspoons instant yeast
1 1/4 cups lukewarm milk

In a large mixing bowl, combine all of the dry ingredients. In a saucepan, melt butter. Add milk and honey and stir to dissolve. Add wet ingredients to dry, mixing to form a shaggy dough. Knead dough, by hand 10 minutes or until smooth. Place dough in a lightly greased bowl, cover and allow it to rest for 1 hour; it’ll become puffy, but it may not double in bulk.

Transfer the dough to a lightly oiled surface, and shape it into a log. Lightly grease a 9 x 5-inch loaf pan — I recommend vegetable shortening for the best results. Add dough log to the pan, cover with lightly greased plastic wrap, and allow the dough to rise for 45 minutes to 1 hour, until it’s crested 1 to 2 inches over the rim of the pan. (I think I waited too long and that’s what gave it that gap there.)

Bake the bread in a preheated 350°F oven for 35 to 40 minutes. If the bread appears to be browning too quickly, tent it with aluminum foil for the final 10 minutes of baking.

Bonus round: That Hero plum jam is possibly the best jam I have ever eaten, and I don’t really even like jam.

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